Top Ten Signs the Newspaper Boy Is Losing It
-jeffrey

9. He starts delivering the same paper four times a day.
8. He has a new paper bag that boldly states, "Nuke the Whales!"
7. His bicycle now sports a novelty license plate that reads: "PAPR DEMON".
6. He informs you that the reason you haven't recieved your newspaper the past few days is because he's been busy inventing a high velocity newspaper firing tool. (H.V.N.F.T. for short)
5. He spends 20 minutes every day, looking for the perfect spot to hide your newspaper in the front yard.
4. He attempts to make his paper route more challenging by tying a raw steak to the back of his bike so that the neighborhood dogs will chase him.
3. Your papers start showing up with mustaches drawn on all the people in the pictures.
2. He trades in his bike for a pair of stilts so that he can bring his newspaper delivering "to a whole new level".
1. He won't stop telling you to "Read all about it!"

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