Top Ten Things To Do While You?re Sick
-jeffrey

13. Attempt to your relive your infancy by sleeping 18 hours a day and sucking your thumb whenever possible.
12. Call work and tell them that you?re either dying or you have a really bad cold. (In either case, it?s probably best for you to stay home.)
11. Refuse to change your clothes or bathe on account of you?re being, ?too sick.?
10. Make people feel sorry for you by making a pitiful cough after everything you say.
9. Claim anything you want by licking it once or twice.
8. Call your doctor up and ask if he/she will prescribe you leaches.
7. When you?re feeling up to it, have a wrestling match with your blankets and pillows.
6. Constantly hold your head and say, ?Ay Yi Yi.?
5. Tape a sign to your chest that says, ?I?m sick. Touch me, if you dare!?
4. Drape a blanket around yourself at all times.
3. Go around threatening to contaminate people if they don?t do your bidding.
2. Leave a trail of Kleenex tissues behind you so that you?ll never get lost.
1. Stay a good 20 feet away from any rectal thermometers that may be stashed around your house.

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