Plasmafunk! | Top Ten Lists

14. Distract traffic by covering your dashboard with Hawaiian hula girls.
13. Teach yourself to drive with one knee. (Driving with two knees is for sissies.)*
12. Use the shoulder as a passing lane. (They do that in Massachusetts. It?s so messed up.)*
11. Weave back and forth in your lane just to throw off the people behind you.*
10. Set up a system of mirrors so that you can sit very low in your car and still see where you?re going. (Egads! No one is driving that car!)*
9. Put hydraulics on your ?92 Honda Accord. (You?re big pimpin? now!)
8. Drive on the sidewalk. (When no one is looking.)*
7. Whenever you have passengers, use the phrase, ?Increase to ramming speed!? as often as possible.
6. Always carry a stress ball in your car to ease your road rage. (Bring a whole box and throw them at bad drivers.)
5. Always have your windshield washers on, even if it?s not raining. (Try to get them to match the beat of your stereo for a very cool effect.)
4. Pretend to be British and drive on the wrong side of the road. (If you?re British, pretend to be American and drive on the right side of the road.)*
3. Tape a sign to the window that says, ?Call (your phone number) if you think I?m sexy.? (No more posting personal ads for you!)*
2. Roll all of your car windows down and blast some Enya music as loud as your ears can stand.*
1. More U-turns mean more fun!*

*Don?t actually do this. It would be extremely dangerous.