Plasmafunk! | Top Ten Lists

13. At all times, remind people that, ?This might not be real at all. We could be in the matrix for all you know.?
12. Hiss like a cat and make scratching motions any time you pass someone when they?re by themselves. (Be sure to do this every time you seem them alone, but never when they?re with anyone else.)
11. After you?re first introduced to someone, change your name ever so slightly each time you see them after that. (John? Jack? Jim? Jimmy? Johny? Jeff? Jed? Jeremiah? and so on?.)
10. Randomly change the definitions of words. (Switch up things like ?absorbent? and ?corpulent?. Example: ?My, you?re looking quite absorbent in that dress today. And aren?t these sponges totally corpulent??)
9. Steal your roommate's VHS tapes of Star Trek (or one of their other favorite shows) and randomly insert frames of Teletubbies here and there. (This might not be so successful if the person you?re trying to mess with is a four year old. And shame on you for messing with four year olds!)
8. Take all of one?s cereal boxes, empty them, fill them with the comparable generic brand, and then put them back where you got them. (This will only work if you?re actually living with someone. If that?s the case, you?ve probably already messed with their mind enough as it is, and should lay off for the time being.)
7. If you ever happen to be alone with someone who has fainted, be sure to carefully lie them down, put a pillow under their head and feet, shine a bright light into their eyes, and say in a low voice, ?This is God. Walk towards the light to eternal happiness.?
6. Make a batch of ?magic? brownies for someone, but ?accidentally? withhold any information concerning their ?magicness?.
5. Sneak into the person?s house and change all off the light bulbs so that they?re 20 watts dimmer. (Ok, I stole that idea from the movie, Amelie, but I?m guessing you haven?t seen it since it?s a French movie. Speaking of which, you should go see it. It?s an awesome movie.)
4. Get one of those wireless doorbells and hide the ringer in the person?s backpack or briefcase. Proceed to follow them everywhere, making the doorbell ring as you go. (If they ask you, ?What?s that sound?? be sure to reply, ?I don?t hear anything.?)
3. Switch the ?a? and the ?s?, and the ?i? and the ?o? on the person?s computer keyboard.
2. Become friends with a dentist and procure some Novocain from your dentisty friend. Inject the Novocain in the person?s legs when they?re asleep. Wait for them wake, and then watch the fun!
1. Keep asking people, ?How do you know I?m not just a figment of your imagination??