Plasmafunk! | Top Ten Lists

18. ?Walk it off.? (Follow that up with a firm punch on her arm.)
17. ?Well?you?re just stupid.? (Good comeback!)
16. ?Oh?so you?re not interested in a threesome? How bout a foursome? I could even go for a fivesome if that?s what you really wanted.? (If she still says, ?no,? pull out the big guns and ask if she?d be interested in a ninesome. Also, I have no idea what I?m talking about when I said, ?big guns.?)
15. ?Alcohol makes you pretty!? (Be sure to follow up with, ?It also makes you pretty easy.? Zing!!)
14. ?So?are you horny? I am!? (Ask this every time there?s a pause in the conversation. Be sure to do this twice as much when you?re in a public place.)
13. ?You look so old.? (I would have also accepted, ?You look so fat.?)
12. ?Why must you make childbirth look so painful??
11. ?I told you we should have gotten a Border collie instead of having kids.?
10. ??and that?s why I think you should get plastic surgery.?
9. ?It?s ok. I know it?s your unhappy time of the month.?
8. ?Of course she?s hotter than you.?
7. ?Feelings are stupid.? (Those are your feelings about feelings.)
6. ?The kids came outta you! Not me! That means they?re your responsibility.?
5. ?Cleaning the bathroom is a woman?s job.?
4. ??and that?s when the stripper jumped on my lap.? (Follow that up with, ?It took a good 20 minutes just to get her off of me.?)
3. ?If I weren?t dating you, I?d be hitting on that girl like I was going for the high score on a Whack-a-Mole game.? (Wow?that was one awesome simile.)
2. ?You just need a little time to get out of your super-bitch mood.? (Seriously, don?t ever say that. That will get your ass beat. And not in a good way.)
1. ?Have you ever thought about getting implants??

(Wow?that list was really long. I guess this just goes to show that you should probably keep your mouth shut most of the time.)