Plasmafunk! | Top Ten Lists

15. Order items that aren?t on the menu. (You: I?d like to have a hot dog. Server: Sir, this is Olive Garden, we don?t serve hot dogs.) (I know, that was a lame one. Sorry.)
14. Whenever you go to a fine dining establishment that requires a suit and tie, be sure to ask if you can have your meal super-sized.
13. If you see a ?No shirt. No shoes. No service.? sign outside the restaurant proceed to take off your pants and go in as nonchalantly as you can.
12. Just order coffee and then take advantage of the unlimited, complimentary bread. (Stuff as much of the bread as you can in your purse or pockets.)
11. Save money by bringing your own pop to the restaurant.
10. Ask to be seated at a booth and proceed to take a nap after your meal. (Wow?that?s a really good idea. People are always tired after they eat. I should start that.)
9. Eat all of your food with just a butter knife. (This is also a great diet plan.)
8. Whenever you make reservations, be sure to mention the fact that you're the health inspector.
7. If you get bored, fold your tip money into origami animals.
6. Have the server pose for a picture with you and your meal. (?I swear to God, the salad was so huge I just had to take a picture of it.?)
5. Confuse your server by constantly switching which seat you?re sitting in.
4. Ask for a refund when the fortune cookie fortune you got at the Chinese place doesn?t come true.
3. Go to an all you can eat buffet, fills 10 plates full of food, go back to your seat, and then scream, ?FOOD FIGHT!!?
2. Take some scissors to the restaurant so you can cut off a chunk of hair to put in your meal and redeem your free, more hygienic dinner.
1. Eat with chopsticks at every Italian restaurant.(Be sure to bring your own. They won't have any there.)