Plasmafunk! | Humorous Articles

Beavercreek, OH ? Last Tuesday, a local man made the mistake of allowing a moth to fly into his ear.

While venturing out into his lawn on Tuesday afternoon to mow his lawn, Richard Jeffries felt something fly straight into his ear. He made a quick attempt to pull it out, but only pushed the insect further into his auditory opening.

Thinking he had removed the bug, he continued on his way to his daily chores. However, he soon heard a flapping sound in his right ear. He soon came to the grim conclusion that the moth had indeed flown into his ear and was now setting up camp for the long haul. After finally accepting the presence of the moth in his ear, Richard let out a long string of nonsensical explicatives and continued this pattern every 32 seconds.

He made a quick dash to his house and began to question everyone available about the contents of his ear canal. The popular opinion came to the conclusion that there was definitely something inside the man?s ear. A party was soon formed and they proceeded to the doctor?s office to rectify the situation. All the while, the moth kept flapping and every time the man would shake his head and yell out, ?It tickles!?

Family members were quite suspicious of Richard?s ?moth in the ear? story. Some even said that he found a moth and placed it in his ear on purpose. ?He?ll do anything to get out of work,? one relative said. Whether it was an accident or not, Richard still had to be rushed to the doctor?s office for immediate medical attention.

The long trip to the doctor?s office proved quite long and arduous. Richard was not permitted to drive since his random twitching might have had adverse effects on his driving abilities. Most of Richard?s bodily damage occurred from his twitching when he would accidentally hit his head on the window while the moth flapped around inside his ear.

?We were really in a hurry. I didn?t want the moth to fly into my brain.? Richard recalls.

They soon arrived at the doctor?s office where Richard jumped out to be greeted by many forms and a 30-minute wait. When reading the man?s ailment, ?moth in ear,? the nurse asked if the moth was still alive.

?I felt pretty stupid going in there and telling them I had a moth in my ear. The worst part of the whole thing was that the little guy was still alive and kicking in there.?

This was not the first time the nurse had encountered these circumstances. ?I saw this happen once before. That guy was pretty hysterical, but Richard seemed pretty calm.?

The nurse and doctor attempted to flush the moth out by pushing warm water into the man?s ear. Unfortunately, the moth would not budge. The doctor soon had to resort to a pair of long tweezers to extract the bug. Upon successful extraction of the insect, the doctor triumphantly showed the moth to everyone and announced, ?There?s the white beast.?

The unidentified moth could not be reached for questioning. The moth?s whereabouts are still unknown, yet Richard has not yet pressed any criminal charges at the present time.

This is a true story. It may or may not have actually happened to the writer of the article.
The man?s name has been changed due to the utter stupidity of the situation.