Plasmafunk! | Humorous Articles

Minneapolis, MN ? Teenage Terminator comes back in time to stop man from eating salad. Only super-smart dog is the wiser.

After winning the long, arduous war through the ages, cyborgs have finally gotten bored and started traveling back in time not only to kill revolution starters, but those just trying to enjoy a Caesar Salad. Twenty-seven years after finishing the final battle against humanity, an advanced society of sadistic, Caesar Salad hating cyborgs have finally begun retaliating against its previous masters, attempting to remove all joy from the past century. In misplaced fury, the cyborgs have also targeted Britney Spears.

Sitting down to a meal, the machines' victim was none-the-wiser to the plans of futuristic silicon beings. Grinning idiotically, the man, who may now be forced into fleeing for his life, had no reason to suspect foul play from seventy-nine years in the future.

Luckily, however, human rebels seventy-eight years in the future bred and sent a super-smart, Lassie-like collie to aid present day man. Named Spuds Mckenzie in honor of President Spudford Mckenzie, the dog went to the rescue soon before the salad was consumed.

Unknowingly, put into mortal danger, the man finished his salad and left a meager tip, never realizing how close a machine-induced, painful death had come to him, his chicken, lettuce and little bits of bacon. Speculation has arisen as to why machines would build and program an army to infiltrate and cease the trade and consumption of Caesar Salad? Only time will tell.

As for me, I am currently hording the lettuced treat in my cellar, waiting for the great war of robo-reckoning.