Owner of Million Monkeys, Million Typewriters Disappointed in Outcome
-luke

Houston, Texas ? Angry, eccentric millionaire Claude VanRyn decided yesterday that his multi-million dollar investment was a complete failure, to the great dismay of his investors.

VanRyn is the owner of a large printing firm which has recently expanded into funded writing projects from the kingdom animalia.

In a recent acquisition from the San Diego Zoo, VanRyn purchased one million Colobus monkeys. In another acquisition, VanRyn purchased one million typewriters. Forcing the monkeys into a room, the patient entrepreneur waited for the world?s greatest novel to be written.

A few weeks later and greatly less patient, VanRyn inspected his investment, finding only disappointment. The monkey endeavor had successfully wrote Moby Dick, much to the dismay of its owner.

Finding no further promise in the venture, VanRyn collected the typewriters and released the monkeys into the streets.

In an unrelated story, the numbers of monkeypox and rabies vaccinations in Houston have skyrocketed.

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